Is it Time to Get Serious or to Get Real?

life, Perspective

At what point in your life is it time to ‘get serious?’ This is the question I want to try to hash out an answer to…

First off, what does it mean to ‘get serious?’ The first thing that comes to my mind? You start being boring and stop living a real life. Yuck. Sounds terrifying, so why are so many people getting serious?

‘Getting serious’ doesn’t actually mean what I initially threw out there. For me, it means something a bit different. I am serious, but I am not boring. I am serious, but I do not have a ‘real job.’ I am serious, but I still drink and eat too much. I am serious, but I refuse to let work or societal expectations guide my everyday. I am serious, but I am also just, well, not. So, am I being serious or am I just being real?

I want to switch up the term ‘getting serious’ for ‘getting real.’ Why? Because ‘getting real’, to me, makes more sense than ‘getting serious.’ To get real is to show up in life, to really make things happen, and to be realistic about what you want.

I’ve always been real, but I didn’t ‘get real’ until a few months ago. I was unhappy in San Diego (God knows why), and couldn’t see a way out if I stayed. So, I got real. I got up and moved. I took control of my life and sent myself to Aspen. I wasn’t going to be a ski bum, I wasn’t going to be a party animal, I was going to get my $h!t together. That is getting real. Identifying you need a change and having the balls to make that change.

The next step in ‘getting real’ was deciding to commit to that man I want. No more wishy-washy here and theres. Let’s either do this or not. Let’s get real. We aren’t getting serious, just real.

‘Getting real’ simply means learning to be honest with yourself and your truth. ‘Getting serious’ means adhering to someone else’s idea of ‘getting real.’

So, we all have a choice in life…we can either ‘get serious’ or ‘get real.’

If you disagree – let me know. I would just love to hear what you have to say about ‘getting serious’. Because, if you disagree, it probably means your super good and getting serious.



From Healdsburg to Napa: An Adventure in the Vines

Being Fabulous, Distinction, Healdsburg, Horses, Relationships, San Francisco, Travel, Wine Country

I awoke to the flock of mallards that had hijacked my iPhone and was screaming for me to get up. Coffee in hand and en route to Cousteaux bakery for a cake tasting. Only s few morning meetings and my work here would be done. I could finally commit to an evening of playtime. I wanted to head to the city to visit some friends.

All checked out and ready to go, I decided to head over to the infamous Bouchon for lunch. It was quite the risky move considering one needed to have made reservations months in advance to get in.

Many people find it quite difficult to enjoy a meal on their own. I happen to enjoy my own company, so it wasn’t an issue. Spotted. Sebastian’s car out front. I knew that car all too well. It was a BMX M5 with a license plate that read “SeaBass1”. I’m pretty sure he was the only one that thought it was hysterical. I remember one summer when we were in the South of France, jumped in the water and beamed, “You can’t teach a sea bass to swim.” He thought that was very funny.

It was in that moment, seeing his car, that I thought he was there for me. He must have known I was going to show up there. “Smooth calculations,” I giggled to myself.

I was escorted to my intimate table on the patio on the main drag. There he was, and there was that look. That look he always gave me. Again, it never got old. I gave my bisou and politely excused myself. Naturally, as expected, Sebastian insisted I join him and his guest for lunch.

“We just ordered wine. Don’t be silly. Assieds-toi.” I obliged. It’s really hard to say no to a smile like that.

The conversation immediately turned to my plans for the evening. Apparently, I had made plans to tour his vineyard and dine amongst the wine barrels this evening. I love when people make plans for me. Not too seem flattered, I acted unimpressed and bothered.

“Oh, please. You haven’t seen the new cellar and my sister is dying to see you,” Mr. SeaBass rationalized. In fact, he was right, but I wasn’t about to sit there in desperation.

“Under one condition,” I snapped back. “Im riding Bateman this afternoon.” Bateman was one of Sebastian’s ridiculously good looking and well bred warm bloods. This creature of excellence was named after Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. I wasn’t really sure why, but I liked it.

Sebastian grimaced, “you always get your way, n’est pas?”

“Don’t’ you?” I rebutted.

“Touche,” his friend remarked from across the table.

Sneakily, and without my knowing, Sebastian relieved the driver I had, and had moved my luggage into his car. What lengths men will go to. I openly teased him, but secretly loved the attention. What girl wouldn’t?

While Bateman and I would spend the afternoon together cantering in and out of the vines, Sebastian would dare to ride ahead, stimulating that playful competitiveness that charged our relationship. There is something very freeing about the way this trip was turning out. Anyone and everyone who had been occupying my mind in San Diego had been filtered out with the matching sweaters and socks and perfectly tailored jodhpurs of the day.

Just like a cliché, Sebastian and I made our way home as the sun descended upon us leaving a romantic glow. I knew his moves. I must out maneuver.

I’m a true believer in tacking and untacking your own horse. Stable boys are for middle-aged woman with nothing better to feast their eyes upon. Sebastian was feasting his eyes upon me. I could feel it. I was not there for that, although, I wanted to feast right back.

I could hear laughter in the distance. A group of incredibly handsome people were making their way down the hill to the outside patio by the vines. It was going to be one of those evenings. An evening filled with laughter, pretention and too much vino. I enjoyed a night like that every now and then. Don’t we all?

The sun had just set, and Sebastian assured me we would spend time together this evening. Apparently, so we could “catch up.” Yes, I’m sure that is just what he had in mind. Oh, boys.

After Bateman was comfortably put away in the stables, we headed to greet the others. I trailed behind Sebastian. I wasn’t his, and I wasn’t there to assume the position. We were “friends”, and that is how it was to remain for the rest of the evening.

To be continued….

The Start to a San Diego Weekend Affair: Downtown SD

Cocktails, Fluxx, Nightlife, San Diego, San Diego Bars, San Diego Nighclubs, Uncategorized

Let’s change things up a little bit. The weather is heating up and summer is almost here. San Diego is the perfect town for a perfect summer. When you live like we do, San Diego is nothing but a playground. Between Downtown San Diego and Encinitas, this city is our oyster.

Even though I’m breaking the Whistler tale up with something else, it is all in good fun. Enjoy.

Friday. The weekend was finally upon us. I, like the genius I am, was somehow able to lock myself out of my apartment and out of my car. Now what? There was nothing else to do but hit the gym. Thank god I was in workout clothes. While waiting for my roommate to return and save the day, I got in a decent sweat session. This was going to be very necessary for the weekend ahead that was going to be filled with lush indulgences.

Saved. My roommate appeared, bright-eyed and ready to go, my keys in hand. We like to start off our weekends right. A bottle of chardonnay and a hot tub are the perfect pair for a perfect start. Feeling relaxed and enjoying the effects of the chardonnay, we headed back upstairs to prepare for the night and await the arrival of one of the most fantastic people I know, Mr. Casey Deane. Casey was a hot shot on the Hollywood scene and full of positive vibes. He was the male personality equivalent to me, or so I’ve heard.  Casey and I were friends, and occasional lovers. He was full of life, and between the two of us, we were a double barrel of good times and laughter.

Once arrived and settled in, it was time to head out. We were the ideal menage a trois, and we all loved to over indulge. El Vitral was one of our favorite spots to start off any great evening. The food is delectable, and the margaritas are deceiving. Two margaritas, a shot of Grand Centenario, and the night was approaching full speed.

Basic. Boom. It was more mellow than usual, but we stopped in for drinks on the house. My roommate and I were regulars. Bootlegger. Boom. It was packed. Casey, although an LA guy, happened to know half the people in the place, or rather, they knew him. A girl from across the bar  waddled her way over to where Casey and I were standing. She smiled. He asked, “Do I know you?” I laughed. It was a series of both confused and amused facial expressions. Apparently she knew him from high school. Casey remained unsure, but humored her with an, “oh yea! Heyyyyy!” Sometimes the best thing to do is just go with the flow. That’s how I do it.

After a refreshing Corona and yet, another tequila shot, we headed off into the night. Each time we stepped out of a place our steps became faster and our laughs became louder. It was on. We were competing with time. How many places could we get to before 2am? It was go time.

After walking a few blocks into the middle of it all, 5th and Market, we spotted a new place called BarleyMash. This place recently took over the old Whiskey Girl, and needless to say, my roommate and I were happy about it. The one time we had stepped foot into that establishment, we choked on the fog that engulfed the dance floor and almost got trampled by ineligible men. BarleyMash is a lot different. The new and improved venue is open and fresh, the walls adorned with series of TVs. Pool tables and a big long bar filled the place. It was a sport bar enthusiasts dream. . Naturally, a drink was in order. Because of the tequila, we opted for a beer. We scoped the place out together, each snickering comments at one another. It was decent people watching, but after that beer, something changed in all of us….uh oh.

It was time to get “Fluxxed up” as many “people” say, and that was exactly what we did. We strutted up to the place. The ground shook beneath us, the music was so loud. Casey, a natural born scenester, knew the doorman before we could even step up to the plate. Pretty fantastic, if you ask me. There are not a lot of guys out there that have the charisma to take over a single town in one night. I happen to know a few, and Casey, was one of the best.

That shining light is Flo Rida holding a bottle of Dom, while all the ‘bitches’ are called up to the stage. Smooth Flo.

Flo Rida? Seriously? Yes, yes it was. We walked into a full blown concert. Bitches were booty shaking all over the place. Just another casual Friday night in San Diego. We all looked at each other…we were all thinking the same thing, “We crush life.”

Once we had had enough of the bootyshakin bitches and crystal clad douchebags, we knew there was one more spot we had to introduce to Casey. Granted, as loaded up on tequila as we were, we could have probably skipped it and been just fine. But, no, we like to live competitively. I do believe Daft Punk had a thing or two to say about “celebrating one more time.”

Prohibition is an awesome San Diego speak-easy. It’s an underground bar that sits behind a door labeled, “Offices of Stanley Moore.” (Or is it? ;)) Little do most know, that behind those doors are some of the most talented mixologists in Southern California. We rang the doorbell. All of us stood (perhaps slightly wobbly), anxious to be let in. A beautiful tattooed hostess opened, and ushered us inside. It was 1:15am, but the night wasn’t over. Now its time to name your poison. The two moustached men behind the bar concocted tantalizing cocktails that you wish you could drink forever. You’ve really never tasted anything so good. Who needs dessert when a cocktail will do just fine? I’m pretty sure at one point, Casey turned to the bartender, complemented his moustache and persisted to exclaim that this was the best cocktail he had ever tasted. It was far more dramatic than it needed to be, but, hey, lets be honest, when life hands you the best cocktail you’ve ever tasted, coupled with fantastic company, enthusiasm is the only manner in which one should react.

The Best Cocktail in the world from prohibition in san diego

The Greatest Cocktail in the World: X Marks the Spot

We closed the place down.

As we trekked the mere two blocks to our infamous apartment, it could not have been more clear to everyone we passed that we were loving life more and more with each step we took. As usual, smiles never left any of our faces for a minute. Well, except for the sneers and snickering, and the fact I only got the crust of the pizza, but all in good fun. 🙂

Back up at our place, the bustling of people slowed and the music died down. The three of us however, had a plethora of topics to continue discussing while we watched the lights of the city dim down and the drunkies attempt to make their way back home.

It was just the beginning, but it had been a pretty damn good one for a casual Friday night in good ol’ San Diego.

Deep Into the Belly of the Fish

Being Fabulous, Nightlife, Relationships, Ski Adventures, Travel, Uncategorized

Back to reality, and wandering through the village, we made the necessary rounds. The Beagle looked a little lonely, so we decided to pop in for a quickie. A little warm up to the main event, if you will. You always want a practice run, just so you know what kind of night this may or may not turn out to be. The Beagle was dead. In. Out. On to the next.

Naturally, Maxx Fish had a line around the corner. NBD. We got this handled. Slip a little something something to the door man, and you were in.


Time to take it off. Coats checked. We descended into the belly of the Fish. Electronic beats sounded through the place. The room was overflowing with colossal amounts  energy. Maxx Fish had a great vibe. It was a large place that was separated into two different rooms. One room housed a huge round bar, and prime dancing space. In the back of the space, sat another sneaky bar with lots of couches throughout the area that you could just sink into. To the back we went.


Beers in hand and ready to get aggressive. Spotted. Prime dancing real estate. There was a platform that sat above a couch and underneath an arch. It overlooked the entire place. Fantastic. We all ascended to the dancers throne. The club was beneath us, and we were on top of the world. I felt that way at least. The good times were getting better. Love, laughter, and lude behavior. It was happening. Not once during the entire night did the smiles disappear off any of our faces.

This was just part of living, enjoying, existing.

Like a perfect melody, we were all so in sync with one another. It was like the stars had aligned themselves, and we were a crew made in heaven. Our energy was infectious.

I love to dance, but there is only so much parading I can do. Sometimes you just want to relax, converse, and let it all sink in. I descended from the throne, and let the others take over. I slipped away.


Without anyone noticing, which was naturally my intention, I walked up into the chilling cold. The music trailed behind me, becoming quieter and quieter with every step I took away from the Fish. It was snowing, but I was warm. I looked up at the two majestic mountains that towered above me.

“Tomorrow,” I thought to myself. But that was it. I was living in the present, so let’s get back to it.

After my moment in silence, I decided to rejoin the others. I rescinded into the belly, and sunk myself into a big brown leather couch. I had been spotted. Brynn joined me, and two fantastic gentlemen I had seen upstairs approached us with guns loaded. You know that look that guys have when they are preying upon you. Sometimes the guy just looks like a creep, sometimes they can pull it off. These guys could pull it off.

As intriguing as any man could be in that moment, I wasn’t really in the mood, so I let Brynn take control. Sometimes you just have to give it up. Let’s face it, I knew what I was looking for, and I wasn’t seeing it. I was in my zone. My world. Happy. Just me.

As any of my friends would say, when I find someone I actually have taken a fancy to, it’s a miracle. I can go on a million dates, and never find that single person that lights my fire. You know how some girls can just force themselves to like a guy, just for the sake of liking a guy? Yea, that’s not me. I don’t even try. Why would I? If you don’t intrigue me within the first 10 minutes of speaking, you should probably just give up now.

I’m not trying to be sassy here, its just the truth. I would never lie to myself.

I glanced around at all my friends. How lucky was I? I had some of the most fabulous people in the world as my friends. So filled with life. If only people could always be this happy right?

As I sat there and watched Brynn light up with smiles and laughter, I spotted the Aussie out of the corner of my eye. By the looks of it, he had become very aware  of my presence as well….